smth to blog on..
haisss
i m crying right noww
not over love
but frens
i m hurt
and i m really hurt
you guys said i didnt want to share my secrets with you guys
but in the first place
lik wad jan said
three of you shared many secrets that i donno
do u noe how hurt i was when u took the phone away to stop me frm readng the msg
jan..u said u had no privacy
but i nvr stop u guys from reading my msg too
don worry
no more next time
i wont read anymore le
u think i really not affected by wad u guys are doing
then u are terrbily wrong
i m hurt since the day i noe 3 of you are keeping things from me
this is why i drifted away from u guys
i don see any meaning in a friendship where there is no trust and full of secrets
till today
if jan nvr give me her blog url
i will nvr ever noe how much things u guys are keeping from me
i m shocked that jie got blog
a blog that jo and daty noe yet i donno
if i m really that precious to you
i wld have been in ur smiles
but i wasnt
i accepted the four of us being together
i can see the efforts u guys are putting in
but i did join u guys too le
at times when u see i m walking away
is becos i noe u guys are sharing smth that i donno
i don wan to be hurt times n times again
thats why i chose to walk away
perhaps it nvr cross ur mind tt tt was how i was feeling since wks ago bahs
there seem to be a barrier between the three of you n me bahs
even the four of us are together
therre is always this barrier existing
3 of u noe smth that i dont
how can i have a sense of belonging to tis grp then.
i donno why u will say that the 3 of u find it hard telling me things
yes
i will love to noe all the secrets too
but if it is really so hard
then is really okay
the gap is getting bigger n bigger day after day
so bigg till i can jus fall to death bahs
how shocked i was when jan n jie told me you guys meeting grace
i seriously noe nth
nth!
don blame urself for what is happening bahs
i noe jan will do that at times de
perhaps i m jus not supposed to be in the grp at all
i really wish i can get out of this place asap
can i jus disappear n be gone with the wind
can i?
so in this entry
i have said all my feelings out

jan was right bahs
i had nvr attempt to change
i m still someone that u guys dislike
do u noe how difficult to change when nobody is supporting you
i can only find comfort in talking to my nanny
whenever i m tryin to change
he will be there to shoot me down
i donno
i really donno

if u guys have anything to tell me after reading this
feel free to
i m sure i wont reject this friendship de
jus lik i told u guys many many times
i treated u guys as best frens
smth tt i nvr believed in
u guys are jus so important

thanks for giving me the chance to cry bahs
it has been a long time since i cried for 20mins le
=))
take care